Today is a new day. I'm feeling better today. Yesterday was a hard one. I was home packing with Ryan and I just couldn't stop thinking about our little baby that would have been. I know that in time everything will be okay, and that I will most likely be pregnant again and carry to term, but I want this baby. The baby that is no more. The baby that I will only have in memories and never get to hold. Sucks. It just sucks. Today is one week since our little butterfly flew free and I think about our little baby every. single. day. and a million times a day ( I counted...) On Tuesday when I went to the RE that appointment was made to hear the baby's heartbeat...instead it was blood work to see how low my numbers where. I should be writing today that I'm 7 weeks pregnant and lovin' it, but I'm not. I'm so not. When will this pain go away??
I was so happy when Laurie came home yesterday. I needed her to just be here with me. Even though her mom and little sister where here too, it didn't matter. I just needed her to be present...Right here in front of me and I loved every second of it. I know that I can always count on her to cheer me up...she is my amazing wife <3.
Thank you everyone for all of your comments. They really do help a lot more than you probably think. I read them several times a day as a reminder that I am not alone. I love my blogland friends. =)
I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine your pain. Our prayers go out to you. Www.twomomsandababybump.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteThis kind of loss is so difficult. I know how you must be feeling. I hope that you're able to find some joy in your family this weekend.
ReplyDeleteI so understand your feelings and I too think about my m/c many times during the day. I would of been 6 weeks this Sunday. I take it day by day, some days are better then others. I second you carrying a baby to term and I also understand wanting to carry the last pregnancy to term. We will get pregnant and we will carry to term. Be gentle with yourself and feel all your feelings, take care and hold your family near.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if the pain ever goes away, but it does get easier, I promise.
ReplyDeleteHold on to each other and snuggle that precious baby boy of yours. We are thinking of y'all.