tear-stained & pushing forward

February 11th has come and gone.  It would of been my due date for the first pregnancy.  The day was heavy-hearted and many tears stained my cheeks though out the day.  I felt like I was standing on the edge of a bridge all day long and all I needed was someone to come along and push me over.  I felt like I was missing something, I certainly was.  I will always long to hold that very first baby.  

With that said, today is the 3rd day of stims and so far- so good. I'm doing the Gonal-F pen this time instead of the Follistim pen.  I have to say, I think that Follistim pen is easier to use, and I like that if you pass your dosage you can go back around and fix it.  The Gonal-F pen leaves no room for a mistake.  If you pass your dose you have to discard that dose and start over.  No thanks!  The shots themselves are okay.  I don't mind them.  The needle is so little you can't even feel it.  It's the PIO shot that I'm dreading. Tuesday will be my first check and I'm sure that it will be many less than ten. That's what I'm expecting anyway. 

I feel that there are good vibes around this cycle.  I have so many people rooting me on and I can feel it. Thank You!